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Troubles of Lawndale - Part 1
Apr. 21st, 2025 06:16 pmDaria – Trouble in Lawndale
“Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?” Jake Morgendorffer said, as he and his daughters approached Lawndale High.
“Did we move?” Daria asked, as she looked around, annoyed that her father had spoken after remaining silent since they left their new home half an hour before.
“Stop following me, Daria!” her sister, Quinn, said.
“Excuse me, we’re walking along to the same school!”
“You don’t have be right behind!” Quinn said.
“It’s not my fault Lawndale has such narrow sidewalks.”
Jake, annoyed with his daughters’ arguing, put his headphones back on. “I've been working on the railroad... come on, guys, we know this one.”
Meanwhile at Lawndale High, two students were already there. (Although calling one of them a student might have been stretching the definition a bit…) “Come on, Mack Daddy! I'll get the coach to write us a note. I'll say we need extra time on the free weights.”
“I told you not to call me that!” Mack said, exasperated. “And they're not going to excuse you from English for weight training.”
“I can't take any more of this Shakespeare dude, bro. He's, like, a total chick writer!”
Mack sighed.
“Maybe we could go to that Mall of the Millennium this weekend, Daddy?” Quinn asked as they approached the school.
“A hundred miles? To go to a Mall? There’s a Mall less than five minutes from home. In a car!”
“I’m sure there are some fascinating Malls in Southeast Asia.” Daria snarked.
“Southeast Asia! To go to a mall!” Jake exclaimed.
“She’s joking!” Quinn said.
“Oh!”
Jane Lane arrived at Lawndale High. She switched off the audio recording of the last night’s Sick Sad World episode. The concept of a model creating an encyclopedia was appropriately inane. “Drawing pictures in margins…” she mused. That was something she did often.
Having been enrolled at the School, Daria found that she had Science for first period. In class she quickly found that the teacher had issues… “…and like a husband going home to his noble and self-sacrificing wife, the rat keeps returning to the food box. That is, the positive reinforcement. Huh, if only men could be more like rats. Oh, sure, they come home at first. You feed them, you wait on them, and then, after twenty-two thankless years, they just up and leave. No note, no phone call, no nothing!” She slammed her ruler on her desk for emphasis. “Just... like... that!”
“I wonder why he left,” Daria murmured to her new acquaintance, Jodie Landon.
“Now, before I divide the class into teams of two, who can give me another example of reinforcement?”
The class didn’t give an answer.
“Fine, class. Ignore me... just like he did!”
“Just as well he wasn’t Jones,” Daria commented.
“I heard that!” Barch said. “But we’re not talking about cults. You can ask DeMartino about that! But you have stumbled upon an interesting answer. A charismatic man re-enforcing herd-like behaviour in his followers, leading to tragic results!”
“Excellent example Daria,” Jodie said.
Daria shrugged.
Between classes, Sandi Griffin was talking with Joey Green, Jamie White and Jeffy Brown, ‘So I said, "Sure, it's a nice car. Do you have enough gas to get to Loserville?’”
“That’s funny, Sandi,” Joey said.
“You really know how to tell a story,” Jeffy said.
“Thanks,” Sandi said.
“Tell us the part with Stacy again,” Jamie said.
“Stacy wasn’t in that story. It was just Tiffany and I,” Sandi said.
“Well then, take Tiffany out and put Stacy in,” Joey suggested.
Stacy then came along. “Hi guys!” she said. “Sandi, Joey, Jeffy, Jerome.”
“Hi, Stacy,” Joey said.
“Hi, Stacy,” Jeffy added.
“Hi, Stacy. It’s Jamie!”
“Oh, sorry!”
“Have you seen that new girl?” Jamie asked.
“The redhead?” Stacy asked.
“She could be new member for the Fashion Club,” Sandi answered.
“There she is!” Jamie said.
Sandi sighed as Jamie and Jeffy ran off.
Daria listened as Jodie told her how busy she was. “…And that is why I can only go to study sessions in the early evenings,” Jodie said.
“I bet you don’t have to deal with Family Court,” Daria said.
“Family Court?” Jodie asked incredulously.
“It was an attempt by my Mom to use Jurisprudence in family matters after my sister and I came home late one night.”
“That sounds crazy,” Jodie commented.
“It was,” Daria said. “But it didn’t last long, because they were too busy to enforce a month-long grounding.”
“That’s something I’d like to hear about at some point,” Jodie said as they came to the next class.
“Can monkeys surf the net, and corrupt our kids? Chimpanzee chat rooms, next on Sick Sad World.”
Claire Defoe switched off the TV after students started filing into the classroom. She saw the new student, Daria. “Ms. Morgendorffer!”
Daria came over. “Yes?”
“Your records from Highland are intriguing,” the teacher said.
“I experimented, that’s all.”
“Using a glue gun as an actual gun?” Claire asked with an eyebrow raised.
Daria raised her own eyebrows. “Oh, that. Those two deserved it, but I won’t do it here in Lawndale.”
“Good. I just wanted to hear it from you personally. I would like to talk about your previous art after class. There’s a student I’d like you to meet.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Fifty dollars an hour!” Jane groused as she approached the art classroom. That was the amount Mr. Ewing had quoted for the average Math tutoring cost in Lawndale. She doubted it would be any cheaper in Oakwood. ‘Or Middlebury for that matter,’ she mused as she overheard other students complaining about exorbitant prices.
“Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?” Jake Morgendorffer said, as he and his daughters approached Lawndale High.
“Did we move?” Daria asked, as she looked around, annoyed that her father had spoken after remaining silent since they left their new home half an hour before.
“Stop following me, Daria!” her sister, Quinn, said.
“Excuse me, we’re walking along to the same school!”
“You don’t have be right behind!” Quinn said.
“It’s not my fault Lawndale has such narrow sidewalks.”
Jake, annoyed with his daughters’ arguing, put his headphones back on. “I've been working on the railroad... come on, guys, we know this one.”
Meanwhile at Lawndale High, two students were already there. (Although calling one of them a student might have been stretching the definition a bit…) “Come on, Mack Daddy! I'll get the coach to write us a note. I'll say we need extra time on the free weights.”
“I told you not to call me that!” Mack said, exasperated. “And they're not going to excuse you from English for weight training.”
“I can't take any more of this Shakespeare dude, bro. He's, like, a total chick writer!”
Mack sighed.
“Maybe we could go to that Mall of the Millennium this weekend, Daddy?” Quinn asked as they approached the school.
“A hundred miles? To go to a Mall? There’s a Mall less than five minutes from home. In a car!”
“I’m sure there are some fascinating Malls in Southeast Asia.” Daria snarked.
“Southeast Asia! To go to a mall!” Jake exclaimed.
“She’s joking!” Quinn said.
“Oh!”
Jane Lane arrived at Lawndale High. She switched off the audio recording of the last night’s Sick Sad World episode. The concept of a model creating an encyclopedia was appropriately inane. “Drawing pictures in margins…” she mused. That was something she did often.
Having been enrolled at the School, Daria found that she had Science for first period. In class she quickly found that the teacher had issues… “…and like a husband going home to his noble and self-sacrificing wife, the rat keeps returning to the food box. That is, the positive reinforcement. Huh, if only men could be more like rats. Oh, sure, they come home at first. You feed them, you wait on them, and then, after twenty-two thankless years, they just up and leave. No note, no phone call, no nothing!” She slammed her ruler on her desk for emphasis. “Just... like... that!”
“I wonder why he left,” Daria murmured to her new acquaintance, Jodie Landon.
“Now, before I divide the class into teams of two, who can give me another example of reinforcement?”
The class didn’t give an answer.
“Fine, class. Ignore me... just like he did!”
“Just as well he wasn’t Jones,” Daria commented.
“I heard that!” Barch said. “But we’re not talking about cults. You can ask DeMartino about that! But you have stumbled upon an interesting answer. A charismatic man re-enforcing herd-like behaviour in his followers, leading to tragic results!”
“Excellent example Daria,” Jodie said.
Daria shrugged.
Between classes, Sandi Griffin was talking with Joey Green, Jamie White and Jeffy Brown, ‘So I said, "Sure, it's a nice car. Do you have enough gas to get to Loserville?’”
“That’s funny, Sandi,” Joey said.
“You really know how to tell a story,” Jeffy said.
“Thanks,” Sandi said.
“Tell us the part with Stacy again,” Jamie said.
“Stacy wasn’t in that story. It was just Tiffany and I,” Sandi said.
“Well then, take Tiffany out and put Stacy in,” Joey suggested.
Stacy then came along. “Hi guys!” she said. “Sandi, Joey, Jeffy, Jerome.”
“Hi, Stacy,” Joey said.
“Hi, Stacy,” Jeffy added.
“Hi, Stacy. It’s Jamie!”
“Oh, sorry!”
“Have you seen that new girl?” Jamie asked.
“The redhead?” Stacy asked.
“She could be new member for the Fashion Club,” Sandi answered.
“There she is!” Jamie said.
Sandi sighed as Jamie and Jeffy ran off.
Daria listened as Jodie told her how busy she was. “…And that is why I can only go to study sessions in the early evenings,” Jodie said.
“I bet you don’t have to deal with Family Court,” Daria said.
“Family Court?” Jodie asked incredulously.
“It was an attempt by my Mom to use Jurisprudence in family matters after my sister and I came home late one night.”
“That sounds crazy,” Jodie commented.
“It was,” Daria said. “But it didn’t last long, because they were too busy to enforce a month-long grounding.”
“That’s something I’d like to hear about at some point,” Jodie said as they came to the next class.
“Can monkeys surf the net, and corrupt our kids? Chimpanzee chat rooms, next on Sick Sad World.”
Claire Defoe switched off the TV after students started filing into the classroom. She saw the new student, Daria. “Ms. Morgendorffer!”
Daria came over. “Yes?”
“Your records from Highland are intriguing,” the teacher said.
“I experimented, that’s all.”
“Using a glue gun as an actual gun?” Claire asked with an eyebrow raised.
Daria raised her own eyebrows. “Oh, that. Those two deserved it, but I won’t do it here in Lawndale.”
“Good. I just wanted to hear it from you personally. I would like to talk about your previous art after class. There’s a student I’d like you to meet.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Fifty dollars an hour!” Jane groused as she approached the art classroom. That was the amount Mr. Ewing had quoted for the average Math tutoring cost in Lawndale. She doubted it would be any cheaper in Oakwood. ‘Or Middlebury for that matter,’ she mused as she overheard other students complaining about exorbitant prices.
